A Step-by-Step Guide to Finding Calm: The Power of Deep Breathing

Woman sitting cross-legged on a yoga mat, practicing deep breathing exercises for stress reduction and finding calm

We’ve all heard about breathing techniques, right? And some of us might even roll our eyes at the mention of it, thinking it’s too simple to be effective. It’s a bit like when someone asks how to get stronger and is told, “Just lift weights.” Sure, it sounds straightforward, but no one questions the power of weightlifting to build strength.

Similarly, deep breathing may seem simple, but it’s an incredibly powerful tool for managing stress, anxiety, panic attacks, and emotional overwhelm—especially when practiced correctly. Just as lifting weights requires consistency and practice to see real results, so does mastering the art of deep breathing. It’s a simple, science-backed tool that can help you take control of your mental and physical state.

Research shows that deep breathing activates the part of your nervous system responsible for calming your body after stress. By slowing down the heart rate, lowering blood pressure, and reducing stress hormones like cortisol, deep breathing helps promote relaxation and well-being over time. The key is knowing how to do it properly, and here’s a simple guide to help you get started.

1. Start With a Full Exhale

When you start to feel nervous or anxious, focus first on gently emptying your lungs. Many of us instinctively start by inhaling, but this can lead to shallow breathing and an increased feeling of air hunger, which may worsen anxiety. Exhaling first helps reset the diaphragm (the muscle just below your ribcage), allowing for a deeper, more efficient inhalation. This step can reduce the feeling of suffocation or tightness that you may experience during anxiety.

2. Inhale Slowly Through Your Nose

Breathe in deeply through your nose. This method naturally slows down your breathing rate. As you inhale, direct the breath toward your diaphragm, feeling your abdomen expand like a balloon. Try to avoid inhaling through your mouth because it can lead to shallow, rapid breaths and increase the risk of hyperventilation (breathing too quickly or shallowly, which can make you feel dizzy or anxious).

3. Exhale Slowly

Exhale slowly, either through your nose or mouth. Focus on making the exhale as steady and controlled as possible.

4. Focus On Breathing Into Your Diaphragm

Place one hand on your abdomen and the other on your chest. Focus on directing your breath down toward your diaphragm, which helps relax tight muscles and makes breathing feel easier and more comfortable. As you breathe in, the hand on your abdomen should rise more than the one on your chest.

5. Count Your Breaths

Counting your breaths can make the process easier. Start by exhaling fully, then breathe in slowly through your nose while counting, “One, two, three, four.” After a short pause, exhale slowly through your nose or mouth, counting, “One, two, three, four.” You can also place your fingers on your neck to feel your pulse and notice how it slows down with each breath.

It’s pretty neat because you can literally feel your heart rate slow down as your body relaxes. When you inhale, your body activates the “fight or flight” response, which can increase your heart rate. But when you exhale, your body activates the "rest and digest" response, helping to slow your heart rate and calm your heart. Focus on slow, deep exhales to really feel the calming effect.

6. Extend Your Exhalation

To further calm your breathing, try making your exhales longer than your inhales. For example, inhale while counting “One, two, three, four,” then exhale while counting “One, two, three, four, five.” By extending your exhalation, you slow your breathing even more, which helps deepen the relaxation response. This simple technique encourages a more relaxed state and can promote a greater sense of calm.

Conclusion

Now, is deep breathing a magic pill? Not quite. If you notice a positive difference after trying it, that’s great! However, just like drinking water—while you may not always feel the effects right away—you know that hydration is important. Sometimes, the benefits aren’t immediately noticeable, but it's still worth practicing. When practiced consistently, deep breathing has been shown to reduce anxiety, improve focus, and help you manage your emotions more effectively.

The next time you’re feeling anxious or nervous, give deep breathing a try and notice its impact. Keep practicing, and remember—like any skill, it takes time. With consistent effort, it can become a valuable calming tool in your daily life.

P.S. If you're interested in starting therapy and would like to see if we're a good fit, I offer a free 15-minute consultation. Click below to book today!

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